The New York Times
Tuesday, April 10th
The Story
The Summary: Going back to a study the author originally did in 1995, he examines the pickiness of daters now and 10 years ago and how new forms of dating (speed dating and online dating services) fosters those scrupulous tastes.
I don't see pickiness in dating as a bad thing. If you have incredibly high standards, you're less likely to settle for a bad person. Not saying that being extra picky is a good thing, though. Like everything, there's a balance.
Romance is one of those things that isn't science, but we want to make it into a science. There's biology, sociology and psychology behind relationships, and still we don't have all the answers.
The research behind the article found that money was a large factor in chosing a partner:
They found that a 5-foot-8 man was just as successful in getting dates as a 6-footer if he made more money — precisely $146,000 a year more. For a 5-foot-2 man, the number was $277,000.
It also stated that women are pickier than men. That doesn't make much sense to me. Why did Britney Spears marry Kevin Federline? Why do girls rush to the alter with the first thing that asks them? Women date losers all the time. I don't see many girls who are extra picky. The author does say that New Yorkers are pickier than anyone else, and I do live far, far away from New York.
I don't believe than anyone will find the perfect mate by making lists of traits they do and do not want. I'm a big believer of finding people you're attracted to, and going from there. You might be attracted to a loser... great, dump him. Move on to the next one. There isn't a science to attraction. Compatability might be a science, but attraction isn't. Just because you can live with someone doesn't mean you'll want to sleep with them.
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